Thursday, September 07, 2006

Student Survival Guide

Someone must have stolen my soul and placed it in this week's edition of Eye Weekly. It's one of the drawings you'll find in the Student Survival Guide article.
The drawing captured my big ears, glasses, scrawny neck, hairstyle from summer 2005-spring 2006, cowboy shirt, and strap from my "manpurse". Who took a picture of me without me knowing and used it as reference for this drawing? And who's the girl? Gill, perhaps, without the B.Ho, after/before the Dance Cave. We were classified as the "Indie Hipsters".
Here's an excerpt of the feature article:


Use caution when approaching the Hipsters, as they are prone to bouts of unprovoked mockery and condescending derision when confronted with things other people have heard of.

Voice: Sustained nasal whine: "Wolf Parade were fine, I guess, until they totally sold out. Now they're charging like $8 a ticket -- throw them on the Arcade Fire, they're soooo Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Next!"

Distinctive markings: Males of the species are noted for the short, wildly angular mess of tangled hair on their heads. Both genders can be recognized for the vintage corduroy on their legs and the ironically appropriated pseudo-corporate logos on their shirts.

Range: Queen Street West, College Street, Kensington Market or the virtual world of

Habitat: Too legit for residence, the Hipster will often be found nesting alongside ever-escalating numbers of roommates, which often leads to the rapid formation of ill-conceived bands. Their shelter can often be found atop stores or in family homes refashioned into awkward apartment complexes.

Mating grounds: The Boat (158 Augusta), 751 (751 Queen W.), Tranzac Club (292 Brunswick), El Amigo (1205 Queen W.), Sneaky Dee's (431 College).

Holy crap! I just realized...last spring when team B+G and I were walking out of Eaton Centre, a girl came up to me with a camera and asked if she could take a picture of me for a school news article. She stated the article was regarding fashion...but really it must have been used to classify me as a hipster. Wow...and all this time I wasn't sure what type of person I was.

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